WASHINGTON, DC — Ukrainians are finding hundreds of Hunter Biden’s discarded guns strewn across the frozen compound — a telltale sign the president’s son had been there.
“As always, this administration was smart enough to plan ahead,” said Karine Jean-Pierre proudly, finally able to put one of Hunter’s war crimes in a positive light. “Because of the way Joe raised his children, the Ukrainian people can now obtain a firearm simply by finding out which hotel room Hunter stayed in and looking under the sofa or in a desk drawer. Hunter made countless trips to Ukraine to peddle the flu — I mean to run the oil industry, so there should be plenty of guns for everyone.”
When people collect the guns, you can often hear a Ukrainian yelling, “Hey! This is still warm!”
“That means Hunter is nearby,” explains a wise older man.
Update: The White House is also on a winning streak for providing the Eastern European country with endless shipments of crack pipes and laptops.
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