ATLANTA, GA — CNN is reporting that Ron DeSantis is being blamed for the most destructive and dangerous use of two airplanes in United States history.
Florida’s governor used planes to bring hundreds of Mexicans overnight to Martha’s Vineyard, the epicenter of rising sea levels. It is being called an apparent attempt to kill off these illegal immigrants 12,000 years from now by climate change.
“Tonight we changed forever as a nation. For the first time in American history, a Republican has used his power to actually do something we don’t like. It seemed like just an hour ago, GOP politicians were only talking about one big game Hanny but don’t do anything,” Don Lemon said an hour after the event. “Tonight my innocents died. And that makes what DeSantis did the deadliest two-plane aviation disaster anyone at CNN can ever remember.”
“I’ll never forget where I was when I saw the first plane hit us with disgusting people,” Obama quickly wrote in his eighteenth memoir. “I remember thinking I’ve been through enough since moving to Martha’s Vineyard. First, I get some monkeypox for no reason. now this? Then I watched the second plane hit the runway.”
Update: Minutes after the illegals landed, observers saw birth wife Michelle Obama yank an iron fence post out of the ground and began beating the migrants like a mole game.
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